Curtains

A pale yellow seeps through
The drawn curtain,
Falls on the black brown bed
That becomes a couch by day
Where I sit and listen to the silence
Lonely as a pearl
Hiding behind the broken remnants of its oyster.
Music plays in the background
As I delay the moment further
When I shall have to succumb
To the inevitable,
And draw the curtains.

And I Miss You Too...

The time for tears has gone by,
The good times have gone too.
A half-alive make-believe life is what this is-
The façade of joy, the pretence of moving on.
The lonely feeling returns to bite
Like frost in the winter
And our lost laughter echoes in the frigid silence.
I still smile and say to you,
I’m getting by, that I’m good.
And you have to shatter it all
Into a million shards of glass
With a little sniff
As I hear my grief in your shaking voice.
Oh the cruelty of time and distance
Can take the childhood out of us.

The Last Laugh

The Last laugh

I broke out that day
From my own prison
And my own life.
I had to go have a great time
And drown my sorrows.
I down the drinks,
One by one, I drink ‘em down:
The walls around me seem to disintegrate
And I have to give vent to so many things:
I’m cool, I’m smart, I look great, I’m a good guy,
I deserve a better life-
And I laugh at it all, at myself,
At the drink glinting in my hand
Like the devil’s own eye.
It was to be my last laugh.
And then I lost it totally.
The walls were simply not visible
I was so free, I was an animal…
Then blackness.

Today, I awaken to a bleaker blackness.
The walls I’d painstakingly built around myself are gone
And I’m small and defenseless as a mouse.
My ruined life is shattered
One final time.
Its the last beating it can take.
As I become aware of the stinging truth
I thump my fists on the wall
Shout myself hoarse.
In that one sane moment of clarity I feel grief, anger, pain all at once.
Oh how ironical that the world finally believes I’m insane.

Its sunk in finally
And I’m walking out
On them and on myself,
On the five wasted years,
On the place that turned me into this.
No I’ve been turned out like a dog.
Where will I go now?
The iron gates that I jumped free of many a time
Are finally being opened with the civility that a man deserves.
But in their eyes, I’m not a man anymore.