The Last Laugh

The Last laugh

I broke out that day
From my own prison
And my own life.
I had to go have a great time
And drown my sorrows.
I down the drinks,
One by one, I drink ‘em down:
The walls around me seem to disintegrate
And I have to give vent to so many things:
I’m cool, I’m smart, I look great, I’m a good guy,
I deserve a better life-
And I laugh at it all, at myself,
At the drink glinting in my hand
Like the devil’s own eye.
It was to be my last laugh.
And then I lost it totally.
The walls were simply not visible
I was so free, I was an animal…
Then blackness.

Today, I awaken to a bleaker blackness.
The walls I’d painstakingly built around myself are gone
And I’m small and defenseless as a mouse.
My ruined life is shattered
One final time.
Its the last beating it can take.
As I become aware of the stinging truth
I thump my fists on the wall
Shout myself hoarse.
In that one sane moment of clarity I feel grief, anger, pain all at once.
Oh how ironical that the world finally believes I’m insane.

Its sunk in finally
And I’m walking out
On them and on myself,
On the five wasted years,
On the place that turned me into this.
No I’ve been turned out like a dog.
Where will I go now?
The iron gates that I jumped free of many a time
Are finally being opened with the civility that a man deserves.
But in their eyes, I’m not a man anymore.